The Truth About Resilience
The truth about resilience is that it’s not the ability to handle a crisis. It’s actually about the ability to recover from NOT handling a crisis. It’s about bouncing back after failure, recovering from a breakdown (or a breakup), and picking yourself up after falling. It’s not at all about preventing yourself from falling.
Life is full of falls and failures. Some lives are a string of failures. A veritable hurricane of challenges. Like walking against not only the wind and driving rain, but also huge skull-cracking boulders and flying debris being hurled at you. At least my life has felt that way.
And I spent much of it thinking that I wasn’t very resilient because I was still getting knocked down, scraped and bruised, so very wounded by the debris of life falling apart over and over again. Failure does have a way of making us feel like, well, failures.
But as I now realize, I am amazingly resilient. Superhuman-resilient. I have not once failed to get up, even after being down a long time. Even if I’m so scarred and broken that I can’t conquer the next challenge. And perhaps it is this, the past mistaken understanding of resilience, that kept me down in the first place. It’s also the reason I get up too soon, thinking that falling and failing is the opposite of resilience.
Perhaps if I wait a bit longer for a few breaks to heal, I won’t fall again quite so soon. Or if I do, the wound won’t be quite so deep.